I was not planning to do a blog post today. For a while now YHVH has been dealing with deep rivers in my soul, but He has promised to bring me through and to still and quiet the storm :o)
Today I read the blog of a beautiful daughter of YHVH... Passing Through The Valley of Weeping .... today was definately one of those 'For such a time as this' moments. Running beautifully alongside this blog and story of this precious woman, YHVH has used this last Torah portion 'Vayera' to revive me, to lift me above the confusion and to give me a much needed re-newal of perspective. In the previous Torah portion 'Lech Lecha' we are told of the account of Abram and Sarai his wife going down towards Egypt for there was a famine in the land, and we see Abram asking Sarai to say that she was his sister because of her great beauty and the possisbility that Pharaoh might kill Abram in order to gain Sarai. The beauty is in the way Abram consults with Sarai ... ' Lo, I pray thee, I have known that thou art a woman of beautiful appearance, and it hath come to pass that the Egyptians see thee, and they have said, 'This is his wife,' and they have slain me, and thee they keep alive ... say I pray thee, thou art my sister, so that it is well with me because of thee, and my soul hath lived for thy sake.' - Youngs Literal Translation. There are many interpretations on why Abram did what he did, and truly we will never know the true intent or motivation of his heart, but YHVH has opened my eyes and taken me a little deeper to teach me a lesson I really need to learn. This time ... I see a man gently 'asking' his wife to do this ... for both their sakes. Could they have known the out-come of all of this? I see a woman submitting to protect her husband which in the end is protecting herself - the two shall become one flesh - (was this always there Abba?I never saw this before) and I see a God who is so wonderful and Big and PRESENT .... He undertakes for His daughter. Regardless of how the plan 'back-fired', God was there making sure that Sarai was not harmed. He had her back even when her husband could do nothing about the situation. He was her protector when Abram could not be and He was her deliverer ... Abram was not. Did Sarai need this lesson all those generations ago just as much as I need it today peering down through time through the window of the Torah? Did Sarai also need to know who this God was that she was entering into covenant with? The covenant was not only made with AbraHam, but with SaraH too, and we know that we serve a God that wants to be known. How did this experience affect and change Sarai? We know that 8 chapters later we see what seems like the same plot unfolding once again ... Why?? Well again ... will we ever really know? But again we see the protection of this daughter of YHVH, she is delivered once again, and we are even more astounded by YHVH's grace as He keeps Abimilech from sinning against Him in v 6!!... Abraham prays and Abimilech's household is healed. Loving a man that is not perfect is not easy but trusting a God who is ...is a lesson I think I am going to spend the rest of my life learning!! And maybe this is a lesson that Sarah spent her life learning too :o) I must remember that Abraham... and... my Matt had/have to spend their lives learning to love imperfect women and learning to trust a perfect God too!!
The haftorah of Vayera was 2 Kings 4 1-37 and WOW!! It seems to be the same thread running through (I should not be surprised!) How have I missed this before?? In the beginning of the chapter we meet a widow who is in debt and is being threatened with her children being taken away from her if she cannot pay what she is owing. Again we see a God who loves His daughters.....and she is provided for. All her debt is taken care of and she even has leftover on which to live. The next account is if a great woman, who didn't need much and instead provides for the prophet of God. But YHVH knowing the hearts of His daughters ... was about to bless her with a son. We are not told the reason for her barrenness, but once again God provides her with the desire of her heart even though she didn't even ask and she is blessed with the birth of a son. Later this same child is restored back to life again by God's great love and grace toward His daughter. All of these above accounts were there to teach these women that they could rely on the God of Israel, who is faithful ... a God of covenant, whose word is sure. A God who wants to be known, trusted and loved. When Sarah's husband could not defend or deliver her .. who could? When the widow's husband died and could no longer provide for her .. who could? And when the woman who seemed to need nothing except her deepest lonings fulfilled ... well... who gave her the desires of her heart? The answer is the same...the God who has His eye on us ... His daughters. We were never meant to put our husbands up on a pedestal, although young love does encourage this!! :o) There should only be One on the throne of our hearts. We are to love our husbands but expect every-thing else from our Father. Our husbands were never meant to fulfill our deepest longings and desires and to calm and eradicate our deepest fears., or to bring us endless happiness....that is not their calling. Our beautiful husbands are meant to be sacred influences with in our lives. To help mould us and to challenge us to become the true daughters of YHVH made and formed to His image. Being married is the hardest thing I have ever had to do and the reason for this I am discovering... is because having things cut-away, character flaws challenged and the very core of who I am changed is the most painful thing I have ever had to go through. BUT at the same time my marriage has also brought me the greatest treasures I have ever known........
I have been pondering on these matters for awhile, but reading Denise's blog today made me cry, as I realised that I as a woman am guilty of not appreciating the gifts tha YAH has so tender heartedly given to me...and that too often the one on the throne in my heart is sadly ... self. I want to take this moment to thank YAH my God, my King, my every-thing for this life that I have, for this husband that I have the opportunity to choose to love every-day, for the privilege of knowing that I am greatly beloved ... these gifts that make up my life (family) are evidence of just that.
Thank you Denise for sharing.
Blessings and Shalom
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