Broken Cisterns and The Living Water

I just wanted to send out a short post letting you all know that I am still here :o)
Many of my friends on Face Book already know that things are a little tough around here at the moment. I don't know where the path will lead that lies ahead ... I know that I am in the hands of YHVH my King, my Saviour ... I know that all things are possible.
My husband has been living away from home for almost 4 weeks now. The situation unfortunately is not just as simple as not getting along :o(  It is alot more serious ... the root being a division of faith. This division has always been there, it wasn't really felt so badly when I was in mainstream christianity but now ... the gulf has widened between us all that much more since I have been convicted and led of YHVH to know and walk in His ways ... His Torah.
I have never forced my convictions upon him ... and as far as possible I believe that I have tried to be a good wife. But I guess we all know that YHVH's Torah does divide and seperate and because of the changes inside of me .. there have been  changes in how I now choose to live ie Shabbat, eating clean, watching TV and generally joining in with the entertainment that the world offers. I realise that these changes have been incredibly hard for him .. but I also realise that he needs to be challenged too. There has been much hurt sown into my home and into the lives of my children due to him not serving YHVH .. choices and decisions that he has made that have directly affected each one of us and  there are alot of pieces that I have to now pick up and try to sort through.
I am seeking YHVH every second of the day .... for wisdom, understanding in what it is that I should do or say. Ultimately my husband sees Torah and my relationship with YHVH as his greatest competition :o( and wants me to go back to the way I was ... he misses me ... he wants me to be 'normal' again. Is this request even remotely possible to acquesce to? I have spent days ad naseum going around and around in my head .. asking questions ... trying to find the answers.
The only answer that I am sure of is this ... I have to love YHVH more ... even if the counsel of unsaved family and friends threatens to send my lifeboat capsizing! I have been insulted  by those closest to me and I have had the enemies words shot at me like flaming arrows that have sometimes found their mark and left me tending to wounds for a couple of days. There are days that the light seems to have been switched off and I simply cannot see :o( But in all of this I have known and felt the love of the Father tangibly. I have felt His arms wrap around me and lift me to my feet again. I cannot turn back but I pray and hope that my husband will ... through YHVH's grace ... join me on this beautiful life-giving journey. I pray that his heart will be circumsised and the chaos and desctruction will finally give way to Shalom in my home. Until then I must be strong in Him, I must hold my head up high as the daughter of the most High Elohim and I must remember that the battle is His and not mine (even though it feels otherwise most days!).
I would really like to thank with all of my heart and soul my Abba .. who has been so very gracious to me in giving and blessing me with the children that he has. They have and continue to be the instruments of YHVH's love and grace toward me. My daughter Rachel has been a pillar of strength and has demonstrated wisdom beyond her years. I am often in awe of her heart and desire to serve and know YHVH ... she has had to help and steady mom on some days (most actually!) and is truly a young woman of YHVH. She is truly an example of a life surrendered and she is truly one of YHVH's masterpieces ... He is so very proud of her, the reason I know this is because ...I am!!
My beautiful son Michael ... wow!! When did he stop being my little boy and become a young man of integrity and strength??? When did my arms stop being the arms of refuge for his hurts and his arms become a shelter for mine??? Thank-you Michael and Rachel ... you are my blessings and when the days when I questioned whether home-schooling was right ... or any other path that YHVH led me on was right ...all I have to do is  look at the young adults you now are and I stand in awe before the throne of my God and King and weep for His great love and mercy toward me!! I love you guys!!
 I love You my Abba, my God .... my heart .. my evey-thing is yours ... but You already know this.
The cisterns that I have always hewn out for myself can no longer satisfy .. for I have now tasted the living water!!

I want to thank all of my internet friends and sisters .. your encouragement and prayers mean the world to me! I appreciate each and every one of you!!

Blessings and His Shalom