Tuesday, May 3, 2011
A Secret Place
It has been a really long time since I have posted on my blog. Today the sun is shining, the air is crisp ... and the milo is hot!! Today is a good day for an update... today is a good day to thank all of the people that have walked this part of the journey with me ....
I have been posting snippets of my heart and my journey on my Face Book wall .. this seemed to be the most I could do for a while :-) ... but today I feel as though lightness of heart is returning and the ability to express my heart in words and share it ... is once again something that I can do. Firstly I want to thank all of my beautiful friends and family and sisters in YAH who have encouraged me with their words and supported me with their prayers and love ... you will never know just how much your friendship means to me ... I have seen the heart of my Father in each one of you and I appreciate each one of you so very very much! Your willingness to lay down your lives for me in prayer has astounded me and encouraged me to grow in this area too ... you are truly beautiful each and every one of you! I love you guys and even though some of us may be seperated by many miles ... your fiendship is no less real than if you were right next door! To each and every one of you I say THANK YOU!!
The last 5 mnths have been the most challenging of the journey so far ... even though YAH does prepare your heart in advance, you never feel quite prepared for the curve balls that seem to take you by surprise when you least expect them to! But even in these ... you realise HE is always in control and always teaching and leading, guiding ... and turning everything to the good! My divorce is almost final ... Matt and I realised a while back already that our paths would be seperating and that YAH has different plans for the both of us, the beauty in all of this has been to see the anointing of YAH all over this process of seperation ... there is a deep sense of Shalom and friendship. Only YAH's gentle hands could mould this so beautifully! I must admit that YHVH has stepped out of the box I had Him in and into my life in a very real and determined way in these last couple of months. I did not realise that I had Him in a box ... I did not realise that YAH would in fact work all of these things into my life to move me to where it is that He has purposed that I should be ... that yes ... even divorce would be part of His plan. I believe that YAH will work with Matt in a very real way ... and He has told me not to worry that HE has Matt safely in His hands :-) .... so I trust.
As I take the next steps on this journey ... I have such conflicting emotions, on the one hand I have joy like I have never known ... hope ... I feel excited and a deep sense of Shalom, but on the other hand ... I am afraid and have deep grieving that I am still working through. I know that I am standing on the precipice of the rest of my life, and YAH is telling me to take the step ... HE will not let me fall!! He has been so faithful!! He has given me word upon word and confirmation upon confirmation, word that has been confirmed almost word for word from people on different continents ... to those who have been obedient in sharing YAH's word and encouragement with me I say THANK YOU!!
To YHVH my King and Elohim I thank you above all ... for your great love, tenderness and mercy toward me, for taking me and making me into a daughter of Israel, into a daughter of the most High Elohim ... for giving me life and creating for me newness of life!! For loosening the bonds of slavery and leading me to freedom!! For stepping into my life and allowing me to 'see' You ... for allowing me to get to know You more intimately ... and to fall in love with you my King and HERO all over again!! Wherever the path ahead may lead ... perhaps new places ... new people ... new experiences .... may they all be for your Glory and service my Abba. You are the only one that can make me smile the way that you do ... and I love the way that you love me!!
It has been in these last months that YHVH has shown me the most beautiful place inside of Him ... a secret place ... where His beauty radiates, His strength surrounds me and His Shalom reigns ... and even though the crashing waves surround me .... I know that I am anchored and will not be overwhelmed!
Each and every one of you YHVH used as a guiding light to this place ... I pray that by His grace I will be able to remind you where it is when you are in need too!
I love you soooo much ..... The list of names would be too many to put here ... but you know who you are!
Blessings and Shalom